父母和亲人如何提供帮助

It can be challenging to find the right balance between supporting your student and providing them with the right amount of space to build problem-solving skills.  然而, 如果你注意到了 痛苦的迹象 and are concerned for your student, it is important that they know you are there 支持他们，即使是在遥远的地方.  Here are some ways that you can help if you 怀疑你的学生正在挣扎:

会说话的 & 听

的 simplest way of helping can be by providing an ear and being mentally present 和你的学生.  You can start the conversation by naming what you have noticed 表达关心和关心(e.g. “I’ve noticed that you have a hard time making friends and that your grades have gone down a lot.  我真的很担心你和 你做得不好。”).  Listen to their concerns without judgment, interrupting, or advice-giving (unless it is requested), and ask questions to both help you understand their experience and convey that you care.  给予鼓励和安慰 你会在他们身边.  You can also share similar experiences, which normalizes the student’s experience and feelings, while also being mindful not to take the spotlight.  Avoid telling them how they should feel, placing blame, or focusing on “fixing” the problem—oftentimes just having someone to talk to can reduce distress and increase 被支持的感觉.  Before moving on to potential solutions, make sure to 给他们足够的时间“只是聊聊”.”

询问他们的需求

Our best efforts to help someone can fall apart if the other person does not need the help or if they need support in a different way than what we are providing.  的 best way to know how to support your student is by asking them “What do you need?” 或者“我能帮什么忙??”  If they do not know the answer, you can help them explore what their most pressing concerns are and make suggestions of what could be helpful.  In most situations, making sure the student has options will increase their commitment to take action, feelings of autonomy, and reduce distress.  越难越好 be for parents or family, sometimes a student needs space to process the situation for themselves or to figure out what they need.  如果你的学生拒绝帮助或者 asks for space and the situation does not call for immediate action, consider giving your student some time and space to think and take action on their own.

鼓励他们寻求帮助

It is important for a student to know what resources are available on campus and who 他们可以寻求支持.  Encourage your student to identify the appropriate 资源和接触. You can follow up on your conversation after the initial “nudge” or after they have made the connection with the resource.  你也可以帮忙 your student identify others in their support system (e.g. 员工、教授、导师、 朋友，重要的人等等.) that can provide additional support—after all, many students are not comfortable talking to their parents about certain topics. 另外, it can provide some relief to you knowing that others are caring for your student 当他们不在的时候.

If your student’s well-being allows them to do so, give them the space to reach out 首先是为了他们自己.  This will help them develop valuable life skills, such as problem-solving, critical thinking, and knowing when and how to ask for help.  如果你的学生不是 able to reach out for help on their own due to the severity of their struggles, then you might consider providing them support by locating information of local and campus resources, driving them to an appointment, going to an appointment with them if they so request, or providing moral support in other ways from afar.